Disclosure: Reset is ours. This post is from the people who make it.
In short
A friend sent you a Reset link and asked you to hold their key. Congratulations, you're now a small but important part of their evenings. Here's how to do the job well.
What you're holding
Open the link in Reset (or any authenticator app) and you'll see a six-digit code that changes every 30 seconds. When your friend starts a "friend-locked" block, their social apps disappear and the only way to end the block early is that code. Their phone never shows it. Yours does.
That's the entire mechanism. You're not monitoring anything, you can't see what they do, and Reset doesn't tell you when they start or stop. You're just the person with the key.
When they ask for it
They will, eventually, usually late, usually with a reason. Some reasons are real: they need a blocked app for work, they're waiting on an important message that only comes through one app. Send the code. Others are the urge talking. You'll be able to tell.
The best reply for the urge kind isn't a lecture. It's a delay: "Give it twenty minutes and ask again if you still want it." Urges peak and pass in minutes. If they ask again in twenty, send it; you're their friend, not their warden. Most people never ask twice.
What not to do
- Don't send the code just because they sound miserable. Miserable at 11 p.m. is what the block is for.
- Don't bring it up unasked. Nobody wants a scrolling coach. The power of the key is that it's quiet.
- Don't keep score. There's no streak here, and a friend who "broke" a block last Tuesday doesn't need reminding.
The emergency unlock exists, and that's good
If you're unreachable, your friend can start an emergency unlock that ends the block after a delay they chose when they set the key up (fifteen minutes to a day). You're not the last line of defence against a genuine emergency. You're the small social cost that makes the casual "eh, just five minutes" not worth it.
Make it mutual
The easiest version of this is two people holding each other's keys. Same goal, same evenings, and asking for the code becomes a slightly funny thing rather than an admission. Reset lets you hold any number of keys. Exam week, Dry January for phones, whatever you're calling it: lock each other in.
Sources
- Bowen S., Marlatt A. (2009). Surfing the urge. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 23(4), 666–671.
- Ariely D., Wertenbroch K. (2002). Procrastination, deadlines, and performance: Self-control by precommitment. Psychological Science, 13(3), 219–224.